Ultraviolet

Ultraviolet (2006)

Written and Directed by: Kurt Wimmer
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund, Sebastien Andrieu, William Fichtner

Um... I can't begin to summarize the plot of this movie. There's a vampire... I guess... and this kid... and then... she fights some guys...? It was totally incomprehensible.

The only thing it really had going for it was the art direction. It looked really good, and I guess the choreography must've been really good, but I'm not especially interested in that. It had no plot. No character development. No drama. No emotional anything. No good dialogue. And practically no good acting. William Fichtner was okay.

I usually like Milla Jovovich, I guess, but she really sucked in this. There isn't even a pun to be percieved there. She wasn't really a vampire in any traditional sense. She was the chick from Resident Evil with fangs.

That was the number one problem with this movie. It felt like Resident Evil, and Resident Evil wasn't even that good. Not good enough to be emmulated, at least. There was also the influence of just about every other sci-fi action movie made in the last couple of years, too, all of which were a hell of a lot more interesting than this.

It wasn't even stupid enough to be amusing. OKay, I laughed at it occasionally, but not often enough to call it funny. I felt kind of depressed all through it actually. This is the only role that a woman like Milla can get? Dear Lord. Also, I noticed, she was the only woman in the whole movie. Even Resident Evil, Aeon Flux, Underworld and Tomb Raider had other women in them. (Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not too sure about Tomb Raider... well, Angelina Jolie's so tough she counts as two).

The most amusing thing in the whole movie was that little thing in Howard Hughes' nose, and that wore out pretty quick.

AND ANOTHER THING! For a movie that is primarily composed of computer animation, the animation wasn't really very good. It looked really obviously fake, and the greenscreen work was pretty poor. I wondered why the hell they didn't just make it animated entirely. They would've saved a lot of time.

So I liked just about everything more than this. All of these weird, comic-book sci-fi-esque things. Blade, X-Men, and of course all the ones I've already mentioned, were all so much better than this. I almost feel bad for the damn thing.

Ah well, it's it's own fault. It could've been good.

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