Thursday, December 7, 2006

Weird Science

Weird Science (1985)

Written and Directed by: John Hughes

Starring: Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Paxton, Suzanne Snyder, Judie Aronson, Robert Downey, Robert Rusler

Jesus Christ that was a stupid movie. Okay, so I'm a fan of stupid movies, but this movie is really stupid. Of course, it was made in the '80s, and we all know what that means.

Two excruciatingly geeky teenaged boys decide to create a woman using their computer while watching Frankenstein (a colourized version, too. How sick is that?). They mean her to just be a program to learn from or something, but a magical storm actually brings her to life. Yeah right, I buy that. Then (much like The Cat in the Hat) she goes crazy and gets them in trouble and stuff. She even goes so far as to summon a sort of weird, SM, biker gang version of Thing One and Thing Two (including Michael Berryman from The Hills Have Eyes and one of the guys from The Road Warrior).

Okay, I'll admit, I laughed maybe four, five times, but mostly at things other than the movie. It was just so... stupid.

And dammit, if you're going to make a movie about a really sexy lady, make sure you hire a really sexy lady to play her. I mean, jeez. Kelly Whatever wasn't ugly, but she wasn't anything to get excited about. And she reminded me of Elizabeth Hurley. The other two girls weren't particularly good looking either. Actually, there was a very definite shortage of really good looking people in that movie in general. Robert Downey Jr. was about the only attractive person in it. Of course, he's so cute he should really count as more than one person, but that's not really up to me.Of course, he was playing a total asshole, so that kind of subtracts points from his total score. I guess.

Back to the topic of this movie's immense suckiness. I thought the music was really bad. I know, that's the '80s factor in action, but that doesn't make it any better. I mean, why the hell bother? Honestly. It makes no sense at all.I liked Ferris Bueller's Day Off. That was a fun movie (okay, it's kind of dumb and teenie, and the music was also questionable, but Matthew Broderick is so irresistable. Or he was back then. He's kind of turning into a skin-bag now.

Jesus Christ, The Producers made me so depressed. Not only was he looking all old and wrinkly, but he was doing Gene Wilder. Gene Wilder is a little weenie man. It's at times like that I have to go watch Ladyhawk or The Freshman again. I did like Uma Thurman in The Producers, but I always like her. She's so cool). I don't know where John Hughes went wrong with Weird Science. I don't understand how someone can make something as charming as Ferris Bueller and then something as totally repulsive as Weird Science. Yet it happens all the time. It's like how John Carpenter can make movies like Halloween, and then Ghosts of Mars (well, he had a bit of time to lose his mind in that stretch of time).

I can't complain, though. Even the amazing works of such a splendid being as I can be slightly less than extraordinary at times...


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