Monday, February 19, 2007

The Creature Walks Among Us

The Creature Walks Among Us (1956)

Directed by: John Sherwood
Written by: Arthur A. Ross
Starring: Rex Reason, Jeff Morrow, Leigh Snowden, Gregg Palmer, Maurice Manson, James Rawley, Don Megowan, Ricou Browning

Worst Creature movie ever. The third and final film in the Creature from the Black Lagoon series, following Revenge of the Creature.

As you can imagine from the title, the Creature gets lungs in this movie. Yes, as it turns out, he had lungs this whole time, they just had to open them up. Why the hell they would want to make this hideous beast able to kill people on land, God only knows, but they did it. Turns out he really just wants to look after sheep.

I think I speak for all of us when I say "What the fuck?!". Nothing in this movie makes any sense! It's not even original enough to be interesting! But what the fuck do I know? I was talking through the whole damn thing. However, if I can babble about The Terminator all through a movie without even wanting to rewind it and see what I missed, it can't be that good.

The Creature was just completely pathetic, barely worth my sympathy. He barely does jack in the other two movies, but in this one he just mopes around feeling sorry for himself. There's no violence, god dammit! I want to see people getting beaten, mutilated and decapitated. Okay, so there's a bit of mutilation, and possibly a fire, I can't remember.

And the ending left something to be desired. And the lead guy was a dork. And the monster looked just like Marlon Brando. That's right. Colonel Kurtz. Swear to God.

And I don't know what to call him. The Creature could refer to anything. I'd like to call him gill-man, but he en't got gills in this movie, and lung-man just sounds stupid (not that gill-man is a great name). Maybe ex-gill-man. I guess that's sort of like being an ex-leper.

And the sub-plot is lame! Lame lame lame.

Stupid lung-man movie.


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