Highway to Hell

Highway to Hell (1992)

Directed by: Ate de Jong
Written by: Brian Helgeland
Starring: Chad Lowe, Kristy Swanson, Patrick Bergin, Adam Storke, Pamela Gidley, Jarrett Lennon, C.J. Graham, Richard Farnsworth, Lita Ford, Gilbert Gottfried, Ben Stiller

Okay... what the hell was that? I admittedly missed the first part of this movie, but still... I didn't get it at all.

It seemed to be about this guy chasing his girlfriend through Hell or something, Hell being essentially one long stretch of road with little parties going on all over the place (actually, it sort of changed to a techno-Hades there at the end, complete with Ferryman), and being chased by this other guy with writing all over is face. And then there was Patrick Bergin, who I gathered was the Devil, or perhaps just some demon out of Buffy. I dunno.

It feels a lot like a bunch of scraps left over from a bunch of weird fucking movies, Road Warrior, Bladerunner, Barbarella, Bedazzled, stuff like that, but with Canadian production values. Unfortunately, it was made in Arizona.

Anyway, I assume it was supposed to be sort of funny. Tongue in cheek, to use a phrase I rather dislike (how can you talk if you tongue is in your cheek? I was trying it earlier today and it just doesn't work). That couldn't have been serious, surely. That didn't make it any better, mind you. It probably has a little cult following, I don't know.

It's kind of hard to hate it. It's really kind of pathetic, and it's not totally full of itself. It knows it's shit and behaves accordingly. It's just kind of... well, stupid. And cheap. And the sound was really bad. And what was up with Ben Stiller being in it? That was just bizarre (I was all like "Holy crap, that's Ben Stiller". Though I didn't seem to be capable of recognizing Kristy Swanson. And hey, Patrick Bergin. The only other thing I saw him in was some shitty made for TV Dracula thing and he was really fat, so I kind of liked him in this. He is Irish, afterall).

Yep. I can't believe they even made this movie, nor can I believe that I watched it. That's the Scream network for you. They keep advertising movies are pretty good (though I've already seen them) and showing crap like this. Ah well, somebody's got to show it, and I'm not about to punch the Scream network. It's okay.

END COMMUNICATION

((Oh yeah, and the dog was cute))