Sunday, April 1, 2007

The Stand

The Stand (1994)

Directed by: Mick Garris
Written by: Stephen King, based on his novel
Starring: Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Laura San Giacomo, Adam Storke, Ray Walston, Rob Lowe, Corin Nemec, Ruby Dee, Miguel Ferrer, Ossie Davis, Matt Frewer, Bill Faggerbakke, Peter Van Norden, Rick Aviles, Kellie Overbay, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Mick Garris, Cynthia Garris, Stephen King, John Landis, Sam Raimi, the list goes on and on

This was a television miniseries, meant to be watched in four parts. I watched all of it at once. All six hours of it... needless to say, that fried my brain pretty good.

The first half of the movie is about this plague that wipes out most of America, leaving behind a rather large band of survivors who have to fend for themselves and rebuild society from the ground up. It's kind of like 28 Days Later or Omega Man but without the zombies.

Anyway, as if that's not enough, they also have to do battle with the Devil who is hanging out in Vegas and having wild and crazy parties.

So it's pretty epic. I don't think it was all necessary - I mean, they could have cut it down to two hours easy. Of course, Stephen King wrote the screenplay, so that ain't going to happen.

It was obviously made for TV - it had that really crappy TV look to it. Don't get me wrong, they did quite well considering, and I don't really have too many qualms about the production quality. It just looked a little... cheap, that's all.

I also don't have too many complaints about the acting. Molly Ringwald sucked ass, but that was okay. Just about everybody else was alright.

I just didn't buy it, that's all. It was too Goddy (as one of my people so aptly put it) for one thing. And I just don't buy it! I mean, why would Satan be that insecure? He's SATAN.

And The Stand is totally pointless. They don't DO anything. They just stand there and watch Renfield blow everything up (damn crazy people, you just can't trust them). Maybe that's why it's The Stand.

That was crap. And then, in the last ten minutes, it descends into total Hollywood bullshit. "Fran, do you think people can really change?" WHAT THE FUCK?! Not to mention the little montage of the brave men and women who lost their lives defending this beautiful country of ours. They died doing God's Will. Kill me now.

I don't have a problem with Stephen King - I think he's a very intelligent man. I guess I just haven't read enough of his stuff though. I always thought his problem was more to do with editing... I guess not.


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