Sunday, May 6, 2007

The Illusionist

The Illusionist (2006)

Written and Directed by: Neil Burger based on the story Eisenheim the Illusionist by Steven Millhauser
Starring: Edward Norton, Paul Giamatti, Rufus Sewell, Jessica Biel, Edward Marsan, Jake Wood, Tom Fisher, Aaron Johnson, Eleanor Tomlinson, Karl Johnson

This movie wasn't particularly inspiring to me. I didn't like it a whole lot. There wasn't really anything not to like, but there wasn't anything to like, either, so there you go.

It's about a guy who does magic tricks as a living who meets the duchess he fell in love with as a child. Unfortunately, she's engaged to the Crown Prince, who is a nasty man who likes to beat the shit out of his girlfriends (guess who plays him, har har). When she decides to run off with the illusionist he kills her. Or so we're meant to think.

The number one problem I had with this movie had nothing to do with the kind of lame plot, or the lame pseudo twist, or the lack of characters I could like, or the funny accents everybody had, or the fact that Rufus Sewell was playing the same character he always plays. It had nothing to do with any of that. It had to do with the illusions.

THE ILLUSIONS were so obviously spawned by computers that I couldn't stand to see them. Okay, if they were supposed to be magic created by the unholy forces of Satan or some bullshit like that, I would have been able to deal with it. But they were supposed to be actual illusions, and if they were supposed to be actual illusions which a human being could actually do, why didn't they actually do them?

It drove me mad, shrieking obscenities through the streets, all the way to the hospital where I commenced to bother patients and doctors alike. That was fun, let me tell you.

Anyway, that bothered me a lot. I did like the costumes. They were just regular Edwardian type costumes, but I like Edwardian costumes. I'd like to go somewhere where they wear them.

And I liked Paul Giamatti, as usual, but his accent was a little... weird. And I liked Rufus Sewell, I guess, except that he was playing a total jerk, so I really didn't.

The whole damn movie bothered me, actually. It didn't bother me immensely, just a little bit, which is even more bothersome. Anyway, it was obviously not very inspiring because I couldn't think of anything to write about it. That's why I filled this up with nothingness! Whee!


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