Deer Woman

Deer Woman (2005)
Masters of Horror, episode 7

Directed by: John Landis
Written by: John Landis and his son Max
Starring: Brian Benben, Anthony Griffith, Cinthia Moura, Sonja Bennett, Julian Christopher, Don Thompson, Alex Zahara, Maxine Miller, John R. Taylor

John Landis' contribution (obviously) to the television show Masters of Horror. I'm not sure what channel it's on exactly, or when, or even if it is on at all (maybe it isn't, maybe they're just pretending. That's what I would do).

Whatever. This 'story' (I'm pretending it's The Twilight Zone for some reason) is about a Native American monster (supposedly), a woman with deer legs - like The Glaistig, if anybody's heard of that. The Glaistig has goat legs. Anyway, this deer woman seduces men and then tramples them to death. Hey, I don't blame her. Actually, it's more like an episode of The Night Stalker than The Twilight Zone (another show I watch a whole lot). It's about a guy investigating something weird...

And, you know, it's funny. I laughed heartily. There's a scene where the main character is trying to figure out how the first victim died by imagining different scenarios (beaten to death with a deer leg, killed by a giant monster deer). Funny stuff.

The acting was pretty bad, probably because it was shot in Canada and many of the actors are Canadian. I wish that weren't so, but unfortunately it is. The main character, Benben or whoever was not bad, and the woman who played the coroner (the same lady who played Tammy in Fido, apparently) was pretty good. They manage to use the poor acting to their advantage (by Them I mean the giant ants living in the sewer), though. It comes off as being kind of amusing.

But the deer woman herself was awful. I don't know if she was just really bad or she was doing that on purpose. She didn't say anything. She just sat there looking dumb - she was supposed to be the sexiest woman alive or something, and no man could resist her charms. A brick has more sex appeal than she does. I mean that. I'd rather bang a brick. I'd like to see someone try to bang a brick. Actually, maybe not.

Anyway, the writing is funny - I'm fond of John Landis. There's a little reference to American Werewolf in there - some other stuff too, probably, but my receptors didn't pick it up.

The monster isn't too terrifying, though. A brick is scarier. No really, I'm more afraid of bricks than I am of deer people. But seriously. It's not exactly the best example of what a Master of Horror can do. It was pretty entertaining, though.

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