Creepshow

Creepshow (1982)

Directed by: George Romero
Written by: Stephen King
Starring: Viveca Lindfors, John Amplas, Carrie Nye, Stephen King, Leslie Nielsen, Ted Danson, Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau, Fritz Weaver, E.G. Marshall, Joe King (son of Steve), Tom Atkins, Ed Harris, Elizabeth Regan, Warner Shook, John Lormer, Gaylen Ross, Bingo O'Malley, David Early, Tom Savini, Mary Schiff

A five part anthology inspired by E.C. Comics (which is why it feels something like a bunch of episodes of Tales from the Crypt).

The first part, Father's Day, is about a man murdered by his daughter who comes back from the grave on the anniversary of his death to get revenge and his cake. That one was kind of cliched, but done in an amusing way. It had some sort of jumpy bits in it. I didn't get the dead guy at all, though. I mean, all he wants is his cake, so he goes around killing the people who could make it for him. Then he sticks a bunch of candles in a dead lady's head. Which only proves the old saying my grandmother taught me, "Zombies are fuckin' idiots".

Part 2, The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill involves a meteor which lands out in the country and is found by an ignorant hick who puts it in a bucket, hoping to sell it to scientists. Then all this green shit starts growing on him and everything else and he is turned into a giant moss monster. That's the one with Stephen King in it. He's weirdly good in it. Usually, he sucks major ass, but they used that to their advantage.

Part 3, Something to Tide You Over is about a jealous husband who buries his wife and her lover up to their necks in sand and watches the tide come in. They, of course, come back as sea zombies for revenge. Fucking sea zombies. This one had Leslie Nielsen in it. Weird. It was mildly amusing/scary.

Part 4, The Crate is about a man who finds a crate containing a ravenous monster under the stairs at the college. It eats a few people and then his buddy uses it to rid himself of his bitchy wife. The monster, spawned by Tom Savini, is pretty silly looking, but that's okay. That one had a few moments of scary too... waiting for something really nasty to happen. It really sloshed on the blood, too.

Part 5, Creeping Up On You is about a Howard Hughes-like character being devoured by cockroaches in his spotless penthouse. That one really grossed me out, I'm sorry. I can't even stand to look at cockroaches, especially in large quantities. They make my skin crawl. It's a fucking miracle I don't have any.

The whole thing had a sort of stylized, comic book feel to it. It wasn't deep or meaningful or anything, it was just entertaining and pretty harmless, really. And you get a lot for what you pay for. Five stories. Mind you, it's two hours long. I don't mind.

END