Sunday, August 12, 2007

Friday the 13th 3

Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

Directed by: Steve Miner
Written by: Martin Kitrosser, Carol Watson
Starring: Dana Kimmell, Paul Kratka, Richard Brooker, Nick Savage, Rachel Howard, Larry Zerner, David Katim, Tracie Savage, Jeffrey Rogers, Cheri Maugans, Catherine Parks, Kevin O'Brien, Gloria Charles

AGAIN!!!! This one was shot in 3D. The DVD is not in 3D, which makes for many laughs. There are lots of scenes with yo-yos, and eyeballs popping out of people's heads, and snakes jumping into people's faces, and people offering joints (the 3D joint was, perhaps, one of the greatest moments in cinematic history).

In this installment, a bunch of teenagers go out to somebody's cottage to do drugs and have sex near the lake. Crystal Lake. Bwahahaha. Jason sets about killing them off for no reason. There's something about one of the girls having had a nasty run in with him in the woods some years back. I don't know what the fuck that was supposed to mean.

Anyway, in this movie, Jason finally gets the hockey mask on (they finally decided what to do with him). Although it's not very significant...

One of the characters decides to scare one of the girls by putting on a scuba suit and a hockey mask and jumping out of lake at her. She tells him to go get stuffed. He wanders off to the barn (?) where he gets attacked by Jason. Jason then shows up wearing the hockey mask. It means nothing! And why the hell was the guy wearing the hockey mask? It makes no sense in any context whatsoever. I don't even mean inside the movie. I'm trying to figure out why the filmmakers would even think of it? It makes no sense. Wouldn't it make more sense to have, like, a diving mask or something? It's fucking weird.

Anyway, the acting is agonizingly bad. I couldn't believe how bad some of it was. It outdoes the first two movies. It still looks like crap. It's still ripping off Psycho (shower scene), and now it's starting to rip itself off. There's a scene at the end of this one exactly like the scene at the end of the first one, only now Jason's mother jumps out of the lake. God knows how her head got reattached.

And I start thinking, they're going to need a separate ward for all these traumatized young women who survived Jason. I mean, the Freddy survivors sort of got their own ward in the crazy house. Why not? Maybe they could admit, like, Jamie Lee Curtis and Ellie Cornell just to fill it out.

: 13/32
Best Death: Main chickie's boyfriend gets his head squished, and his eyeball pops out on a spring. Ah, the miracle of 3D technology.


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