Monday, November 5, 2007

Dead Silence

Dead Silence (2007)

Directed by: James Wan
Written by: Leigh Whannell
Starring: Ryan Kwanten, Amber Valletta, Donnie Wahlberg, Michael Fairman, Joan Heney, Bob Gunton, Laura Regan, Judith Roberts

Spawned from the creators of Saw (I en't seen Saw...) comes a movie that doesn't make any fucking sense. Yay! Something to trash!

Okay, when a guy's wife is murdered (has her tongue ripped out. Apparently this will kill you) seemingly by a ventriloquist's dummy, the guy has to return to his home town to learn the legend of Mary Shaw. Mary Shaw was a ventriloquist who killed a kid and then got her tongue cut out by a lynch mob. I guess. And now she's back! Boogah!

When put that way, the movie almost sounds coherent, like Darkness Falls but with a ventriloquist who collects tongues instead of a pervert who collects teeth. To be fair, the movie makes enough sense in the big picture. I mean, it has a plot, I guess.

But the movie itself is basically just a bunch of creepy stuff for no reason. I can't even begin to express my frustration with this movie, actually. Most of the stuff in it seriously doesn't have a whole lot of connection to any of the other stuff.

Okay. I saw the trailers. I expected it to be lame. I would have been really disappointed had it not been lame. I expected something sort of along the lines of Magic or something. You know, crazy ventriloquist. Ghost of a crazy ventriloquist. Ghost of a crazy ventriloquist who sort of possesses her dolls but not really, but anyway she needs the dolls to live except she's either possessing that woman or she's some sort of reincarnation or a witch and she hollowed out the guy's dad so she could use him as a doll. And all because she wanted a child of her own. And I guess a tongue collection?

That's a much more accurate description of the movie. See what I'm saying?

Another thing which bugged me: Okay, in these kind of movies, there's a person who gets killed without a trial because the villagers thought she killed some kid. It always turns out she was falsely accused, and thus she comes back to take her revenge on the people who killed her.

In this, the woman actually did kill the little kid (okay, he was a little shithead, but still), died for it, and then came back to have her revenge on the descendants of the people who killed her. That's just retarded. They were even when they killed her. Now all the people she killed will have to come back and get revenge on her again. This is what happens when you start skewing morals in a moralistic genre.

Yeah, this movie sucked. No two ways about it.


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