The Crow

The Crow (1994)

Directed by: Alex Proyas
Written by: David J. Schow & John Shirley based on the comic book series by James O'Barr
Starring: Brandon Lee, Rochelle Davis, Ernie Hudson, Michael Wincott, Bai Ling, David Patrick Kelly, Angel David, Laurence Mason, Michael Massee, Jon Polito, Anna Thompson, Sofia Shinas

Okay, this is the one where the guy dies and then comes back to life to get revenge on the scummy bastards what killed him and his fiancé. So, he's like a goth superhero. Cool.

And he gets to walk around with a crow like a real badass.

Now. It's probably not very nice to make fun of Brandon Lee, him being dead and all, but he really fucking sucked. Nobody in the movie was particularly good (which may have had something to do with the script), but this guy was beyond bad. He was annoying. His voice bore into my brain like a brainworm. He didn't really talk a whole lot, though...

But he wasn't even hot really. My friend kept saying he looked like Johnny Depp. That's a bit of a stretch. It was mostly the make-up, actually. That shit he had on really wasn't very flattering.

Anyway, enough about Brandon Lee. The story was kind of lame, the writing was even lamer, but the art direction was very pleasing to me.

It was just so overwhelmingly... goth. It looked really cool, the camera work was good, the music was good.

It's just... well, everybody in it was really ridiculous. I mean, the bad guys are making fun of buddy the crow cos he's got funny make-up on, but they're all a bunch of assholes anyway. I mean, they work for a guy who really likes to take people's eyes and dresses... well, anyway.

They were all a bunch of dumbasses. I mock them.

Anyway, it was interesting to watch, in that it's a huge goth icon and (I guess) cult favourite. And it's the same guy who did Dark City, which I am partial to. On the other hand, he also did I, Robot which was a piece of crap.

Moving on, would have made an good music video. Not a music video necessarily, but had there been, say, no dialogue, it would have been much better. I think I could have put up with Brandon Lee that way.

One more question: if it's really about 'true love' and all that like the intro says, and not just about revenge and looking cool, how come the guy came back and not the girlfriend? I kind of have to wonder. I dunno.

So many questions... but never mind. It was okay, I guess. There was lots of action... or something. I don't know.

END