Spiderman 3

Spiderman 3 (2007)

Directed by: Sam Raimi
Written by: Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi and Alvin Sargent based on the comic by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko
Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rosemary Harris, J.K. Simmons, James Cromwell, Theresa Russell, Dylan Baker, Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi, Willem Dafoe

Okay, so the third Spiderman movie, cleverly titled Spiderman 3, tries to outdo the first two movies by having, like, three badguys to deal with.

That friendly neighbourhood spider-man has to confront his inner demons when this goop from space paints his suit black and turns him into a jerk. And M.J. breaks up with him cos he's a dink. And there's this other photographer who's out to get him. And this guy that turns into sand who (hey!) was responsible for spider man's uncle's death. And Bryce Dallas Howard, for some reason. Oh yeah, and the Silver Surfer is back, only this time he's James Franco instead of Willem Dafoe.

Yeah, there's a lot of shit going on. Enough shit to fuel about six movies, actually, and a lot of it doesn't really seem to have any relevance to anything else. It's almost like filler, it doesn't even matter at the end of the movie.

I like Spiderman as much as the next person. I dig Tobey Maguire and think The Octopus is cool. I wish I had eight arms.

But this movie actually succeeded in boring the hell out of me. It's hard to believe that a movie with so much big-budget, web-slinging action could possibly be that tedious, but that's exactly what makes it so dull.

The in-between bits were fairly good. The acting is good (with a cast like that, who can complain?), and a lot of the stuff is eye burstingly funny. That scene with Bruce Campbell. Hee hee.

I was just kind of getting into it and then it would turn into one of the action scenes. I don't really have anything against action scenes. I like action movies. But everything was CG and it wasn't even good. It was at times like that I wondered why they didn't just animate it.

I guess I never really noticed the poor quality of the CG in the last two, but it really bugged me this time around. I almost couldn't watch it. Especially the stuff that just looked like a video game.

Anyway, it's all fairly high concept, the shots look pretty good and the action is, potentially, thrilling, it just looked like shit.

Also, it seemed to drag on a little too much. I mean, when you have seven plotlines, it takes a while to wrap them up. It bored me. I need more emotional stimulation god dammit!

Like I said, they could have spread this out over at least two more movies. So... why didn't they? I guess they were going for broke. Maybe they're not sure they can make any more. Maybe Tobey Maguire isn't signed on for any more movies, maybe they can't get the funding, I dunno.

But now what are they going to do? I mean, they'll be hard pressed to beat this one. They'll need, like, five villains to contend with (whatever shall they do? Are there even five more spiderman villains? I don't really know spiderman. Maybe they could bring back The Octopus. And some of the cooler Batman villains, like the Penguin).

I still kinda like spiderman though. I can't help it, it's still strangely exciting. And I guess I would get hyped up about a Spiderman 4. I'm pretty hyped up about Dark Knight. I want to watch it now, dammit. I could care less about Fantastic Four 3, but I do like the idea of Wolverine.

Not really a comic book nut, though...

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