The Fair Haired Child

The Fair Haired Child (2006)
Masters of Horror Episode 9

Directed by: William Malone
Written by: Matt Greenberg
Starring: Lori Petty, Lindsay Pulsipher, Jesse Haddock, William Samples, Walter Phelan

William Malone's entry in the Masters of Horror series (apparently...). The only thing I've ever seen of his was the remake of House on Haunted Hill. I liked that movie for some reason. According to IMDb, Mr. Malone has done lots of other stuff, but I haven't seen any of it. Oh well.

This particular movie is about a girl who gets kidnapped by witches who plan to feed her to some kind of thing in order to restore their son who drowned in the lake twelve years ago.

I guess. Nothing happened for a really long time, and then a lot of stuff happened but it didn't really mean anything. Eh.

I was a little bit disappointed, only because The Haunting of the House on Hell Hill or whatever the fuck that movie was called, kind of freaked me out and this didn't.

It had a look to it which was kind of cool, and the Thing (whatever the fuck that was supposed to be) had a creepy way of moving. It was still really stupid looking though. I dunno. It had... twigs (?) growing out of its head?

Well whatever. This was still kind of better than Cigarette Burns (that's not really saying much, though. Lord, that movie was really... well, I'd best not get started on that). Lori Petty was kind of creepy and some bits were interesting.

It just had that feeling, if you know what I mean (if you don't know the feeling, you've probably decided I was crazy a long time ago). That vibe, right? Like they went a little too far or something, they let it go. I am well acquainted with this feeling. A lot of my work has the feeling. It's sort of distracted...

Blarg. Speaking of which. I'm getting very distracted. This movie wasn't terribly good. It wasn't terribly terrible either, it was just kind of irritating.

END COMMUNICATION