Thursday, March 20, 2008

Freddy Vs. Jason

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Directed by: Ronny Yu
Written by:
Damian Shannon & Mark Swift
Starring: Monica Keena, Jason Ritter, Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland, Christopher George Marquette, Brendan Fletcher, Katherine Isabelle, Lochlyn Munro, Paula Shaw

Finally, the big pay off. I'm not entirely sure what the hell was going on in this movie, but somehow Freddy and Jason team up (one brings the other back from the dead or something. Whatever) and go around killing people who do bad stuff (i.e., have sex, drink, act like arseholes, smoke (not just pot, but cigarettes now too), party, rape the drunk chick, worry about their appearance, et cetera). Unfortunately, they seem to be incapable of playing together and, like, fight and stuff.

This movie is even more cartoony than the other films in either series, if such a thing is possible. Like Coyote and Road Runner on meth. w00t.

I would say it was probably better than one of the Friday the 13th pictures, but not as good as most of the Nightmare on Elm Street ones (same deal with AVP - better than Predator, not as good as Alien). Granted, it still was unbelievably stupid, but they managed to do some interesting stuff with it. Like that part with the Dope Slug (he's, like, that Opium Caterpillar's 21st Century cousin). I liked the Dope Slug.

Well anyway. At the beginning of the movie, I was kind of rooting for Freddy, seeing as the Jason movies had made me very very tired. However, about twenty minutes in I started hoping he would get his ass kicked. He's really annoying.

But what was up with the hydrophobia? That was a little weird. I mean, dude lives at the bottom of a lake, how come he's afraid of water? Well, whatever. I was trying to ignore those details (like how come these people can fall asleep that easily? I always had that problem with the Nightmare movies. People drop off so easily. I guess if they were like me (it sometimes takes me up to three hours to fall asleep), the movie would be kind of boring).

Eh. The movie was vaguely entertaining, I guess. It was more like one of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, only not quite as interesting, stylistically. And it had a big budget. It was just stupid as fuck.



Body Count: 21 - not counting the flashback montage. I didn't take a count for the Nightmare flicks (there were more interesting things going on...), but my total count for the Friday movies so far is 161.
Request Death: Death by Dope Slug! Naw, dude gets stabbed a whole bunch of times and then folded up in the folding bed. Nice.
Who Wins: Freddy gets pwned. Okay, they try to sort of make it a tie, but come on. He's a severed head. What the hell's he gonna do? Well, whatever. Either way, I think I lost.

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