Saturday, March 1, 2008

Friday the 13th 8

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Written and Directed by: Rob Hedden
Starring: Jensen Dagget, Kane Hodder, Todd Shaffer, Peter Mark Richman, Tiffany Paulsen, V.C. Dupree, Kelly Hu

Okay, I'm almost done this series (the end is near! I can almost taste it! Then when people ask me 'have you seen Friday the 13th?' I can say 'yes...' and really mean it).

Okay, in this one, Jason comes back! (I don't even remember what the hell they did to him in the last one... oh yeah, the dead father of the psychic chick comes out of the lake and drags him down or whatever.) Now, he climbs onto a cruise ship destined for New York and kills a whole bunch of people.

They don't even make it to New York until, like, fifty minutes in. And even when he does get there, he doesn't exactly take it. I was hoping to see him walking down Time Square with a machete, hacking people up. But no. He's very focused. Biggest disappointment ever.

It also raises some serious logic questions (I know, I know, debating the logic of the Friday the 13th series is totally futile) - how come when Jason, king of killing people for no reason, walks into a crowded diner, he totally ignores everybody except the main chick and her boyfriend. I mean, people are just sitting there. Why not have a swipe at them? Fuck.

Well anyway. I'm not even going to bother saying what a piece of crap this movie was. It would just provoke a whole bunch of questions such as 'then why the hell did you watch it?' and 'why are you going to watch part 9?'. Followed up by 'why are you such a dumbfuck?'. I ask myself that question all the time. I can't help myself.

Um... yeah. This one doesn't differ significantly from the other ones 'cept they go to New York for about ten minutes (what the hell route did they take to get there, anyway? Where's Crystal Lake? New Jersey? They looked like they were crossing the frigging Atlantic on that damn cruise ship). Oog.



Body Count: 19/117 (hootah! Actually, that's not counting all those people who were trapped on the boat when it sank - I forgot about them. I don't know how many there were, though. so fuck 'em)
Favourite Death: Girl gets head chopped off with guitar (they don't call it an axe for nothing)
How They Kill Him: Toxic waste or something
To Go: Two more, plus Freddy vs. Jason. The next one is Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. My ass. They already had a final Friday (you can never have too many Fridays, apparently).

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