Dance of the Dead

Dance of the Dead (2005)
Masters of Horror, Episode 3

Directed by: Tobe Hooper
Written by: Richard Christian Matheson, based on the short story by Richard Matheson (oh dear lord. I gather they are related?)
Starring: Jessica Lowndes, Jonathan Tucker, Ryan McDonald, Marilyn Norry, Lucie Guest, Robert Englund

I'm really tired right now. I feel like my head's going to fall off, but I figure doing this for ten minutes will get my brain juiced up enough so that I won't fuck up my work too much (can't you tell how much love and care I put into my reviews? Wowee). God, it's only 2.10. Only ten more hours before I will allow myself to sleep. Eeg.

But enough about me. This is about a bunch of degenerate druggies in a post-apocalyptic society who hang out in a club where they reanimate dead people for amusement. Based on the story of the same title by Richard Matheson (which I have read, incidentally) so although there is some sort of scientific explanation for the LUPs, it doesn't really make sense or matter.

And are we going to call it a zombie movie? Ah, we enter back into the debate. If I told someone this was a zombie movie, they would probably ask, 'But how can a zombie give someone a blow job?' and then I would have to talk about Richard Matheson for, like, seven minutes. And I don't really want to do that.

So we'll call it an walking-dead animated-corpse movie. Moving on:

Out of all the episodes of Masters of Horror I've seen so far (which, admittedly, isn't many), this one was probably one of the better ones. I guess.

It was kind of interesting, anyway. I usually find that spastic style of editing really obnoxious and hard to watch, but I didn't mind it at all this time. I was thinking about the place they went, the Room of Doom or whatever it was called - not that this is a really valid complaint, it didn't really bug me that much, but it was just so... you know how in every movie where they go to a bad ass club, the bad ass club always looks kind of the same? You know, there are some people in cages, some strippers, some requisite guys from the SM club and a couple lesbians whose only function is to stand in the corner licking each other. And no one really looks like they're doing anything. They're just standing there looking bad ass.

Well whatever. The story was nicely padded out with apocalyptic stuff and a missing sister and all that, although the writing kind of bugged me. And a couple of the actors weren't that great either, but for the most part they were alright.

Anyway, it's got Robert Englund in it which automatically makes it kind of entertaining. He gets to do all the fun stuff.

I'm going to bang my head on the computer now. Woo hoo.

END COMMUNICATION
(Hey, it took me 23 whole minutes to write that - I really do care)