Saturday, May 17, 2008

Alien vs. Predator 2

Alien VS. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Directed by: Colin and Greg Strause
Written by: Shane Salerno
Starring: Steven Pasquale, Reiko Aylesworth, Johnny Lewis, John Ortiz, Kristin Hager, Ariel Gade, Tom Woodruff Jr., Ian Whyte, Robert Joy

Okay, I'm a little annoyed because a few moments ago, as I was getting up to go fetch a refreshing beverage, I knocked my Van Helsing snowglobe over and broke it, so a bit of my irritation about that is going to be directed towards this movie. Dammit, that thing was cool. It had Wolfman and Hellbeast on it and little bats floating around in the snowglobe juice.

In this flick, a bunch of really annoying people get killed in (possibly) gory ways by the Alien, I guess. Everything was so dark I couldn't really tell what was going on. And I think one of the Aliens had a Predator head. Maybe. I think they called it Predalien.

This movie was actually really disappointing - first of all, the box said 'more blood, more guts, more gore' or something. More than what? Like I said, nothing was really visible. Most of the movie was pitch black with the occasional glimmer of shiny stuff. The rest was dim.

And Alien vs. Predator has very little to do with it. I was kind of looking forward to those dudes duking it out again, but they don't really get all that much time. The time that they do get is really fucking dark. It was a teen slasher movie with little scrappets of Alien and or Predator thrown in for no apparent reason.

It actually made Predator look kind of good. At least that had some macho man action. Shit, it made the first AVP look like a masterpiece. Alien still looks like Alien - I refuse to actually acknowledge these movies as sequels to Alien. If it don't got Ripley, it don't count.

This one had a woman who looked kind of like Ripley, though. It was the same character, actually (only much less interesting) - the muscular army type lady defending her daughter or whatever.

And the ending was just totally out of nowhere. Actually, Robert Joy's character didn't really seem to have any purpose other than 'it was shot in B.C., therefore we must cast this guy'. I guess the end probably had something to do with something, but no doubt just made the writers and Alien die hards feel smug.

That bothers me even more than the broken snow globe.


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