Quintet

Quintet (1977)

[NO]

Woo. Boring ass apocalyptic sci-fi movie I watched after A Boy and His Dog. In this dreary view of the future, the world has enetered another ice age. Awaiting extinction, the last of the human race sits around playing a game called Quintet (which I think is like some really complicated version of Yahtzee where I guess the players have to kill each other? That didn't make sense to me, I think I must have missed something).

In this strange future, every aspect of life seems to revolve around this one game, coz apparently nobody has anything else better to do. "It's gonna be nice days in the Ice Age".

The international cast spends the film wandering around in weird costumes, spurting incomprehensible dialogue about the Sixth Space and how five is really six (I kept thinking they're probably really bad at math. You know. What's 5+5? 12!? No!!) and offing each other for no apparent reason.

It all felt like a really long, crappy episode of Star Trek. I kept expecting Mr. Spock to show up and go, "That's highly illogical, Cap'n" or some other stupid Vulcan thing. Call me racist, but I really hate fucking Vulcans. I know people who think Mr. Spock is sexy. What's up with that? He's a frigging body snatcher (prejudiced against pod people, too). Cap'n Kirk, on the other hand, is totally hot. And Mr. Shatner's acting style is a trove of endless amusement.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, this movie was way to intellectual for me (SF for smart people) and didn't have any of that delicious Robert Altman goodness I crave. Or Paul Newman action. I like Paul Newman a lot, but he didn't overcome the annoyingness of this movie.

Jeez, I'm really down on this movie. I'm sorry (actually, I'm not. I love trashing stuff. It makes me ever so happy).

END

Directed by: Robert Altman
Written by: Robert Altman, Frank Barhydt & Patricia Resnick
Starring: Paul Newman, Vittorio Gassman, Fernando Rey, Bibi Andersson, Nina Van Pallandt, David Langton, Brigitte Fossey