Vacancy

Vacancy (2007)

Ranking: Meh
Slightly Trashy

Standard neo-slasher film about an unhappily married couple (Kate Beckinsale & Luke Wilson) who, while driving from point A to point B, end up staying at a creepy motel where they are attacked by snuff film making psychos.

Like many other films of its ilk, this movie is one big Psycho reference from beginning to end, right down to the title. However, compared to such films as Driver and, you know, all those other fucking movies, this was pretty decent.

Not that the movie was any good. It was just... better. It was a cheap thrill ride (I will admit one or two bits did freak me out) and only held my interest because I was looking forward to seeing Kate Beckinsale and/or Luke Wilson get totaled.

Imagine my disappointment when both of them make it out alive. Spoilers. I mean, come on. Both of them were such fucking whores. Unfortunately, the killers were also a bunch of greasy sleazebags with no redeeming features or anything to make me root for them.

And everybody in the movie was just so stupid. First of all, the killers have the keys to every room in the motel, PLUS a tunnel system which enables them to pop up in the bathroom at any time. It shouldn't be too hard to get in and slice the fuckers. Really.

Second of all, it wouldn't have been that hard for Kate and Luke to run straight out the front door and hide in the dark somewhere. It looked like there was some forest nearby, why not go there? It'd take all night for the bad guys to find them. Honestly.

They were all just a bunch of whiny little bitches anyway. I don't know why I'm so bitter today. I guess I just felt so cheated by this movie. Also, I lost two dollars betting against Kate Beckinsale. Stupid movie.

Anything involving snuff films pisses me off on some level. I just keep wondering if people sit in their homes being afraid of snuff films. I mean, really. Granted, every time I see an unmarked video for sale at Value Village, I assume it's a snuff film. I don't buy em though coz they might also be The Ring.

Moving on, I liked the credits music. That was pretty much the only thing about this movie which stood out to me.

END

Directed by: Nimród Antal. Written by: Mark L. Smith. Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Luke Wilson, Frank Whaley, Ethan Embry.