The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight (2008)
Rating: Meh
Not Trashy Enough

Okay... for starters, I have mixed feelings about this movie. I still haven't really made up my mind about it despite having seen it twice, thought about it for two months and watched Batman Begins again to refresh my memory as to why exactly Cillian Murphy was still running around the city.

On one hand, it is fairly entertaining and technically very skilled. On the other hand, they pack way too much action and plot into it and fill it with sappy, melodramatic bullshit.

The plot involves Batman's continuing battle against the forces of chaos as he keeps Gotham safe from crime and the Joker. Meanwhile, his ex-girlfriend (Maggie Gyllenhaal replacing whatserface) is going out with Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart)... and then all this shit happens, I don't really remember.

Did I mention that way too much stuff happens in this movie? It's about eight hours long, too and didn't really seem to have one central focus.

They really should have saved Two Face for the next movie. They definitely should have set him up in this movie, but they should have exercised some self control and saved him.

And he looked really dumb. After checking out the really cool make up job they did on Heath Ledger, showing us some crappy ass CGI on Aaron Eckhart is just weak.

And come on, that wouldn't even work. How does he keep his lidless eyeball from drying out? And you'd think the fact that he has no lips or nose on one side of his face would affect his speech in some way. Besides, they don't even get him rolling until, like, two hours into the movie.

Up until that point, the plot has to do with the Joker, some gangstas and Maggie Gyllenhaal trying to chose between Harvey Dent or Batman. Fuck! The answer is simple! Harvey Dent is like the most amazing guy in the world! Not only is he devoted to doing really great stuff like fighting crime and shit, he's also really nice and he doesn't wear a bat suit. Okay, he's got some emotional problems but who cares, he's awesome.

He also doesn't speak in a ridiculously low and gravelly Batman voice. Bruce Wayne speaks with Christian Bale's normal voice (actually, I think Mr. Bale is British, so that's not his normal accent at all, but whatever). Batman speak with this really stupid, low and gravelly voice. I burst into laughter whenever he said anything. I have no idea why that was necessary (perhaps it was to hide his identity. I don't know).

Well, anyway. Moving on to Heath Ledger, may he rest in peace. He was about the best thing in the movie and deserved way more screen time and more to do (I did like that we were given no background on him whatsoever - that was nifty and makes his motives unknown or, more likely, non existant). I dunno about Oscar worthy, but pretty good. And his make-up was really cool.

But generally, the movie was way too mature for me. I'm mean, it's frigging Batman for god's sake. There was way too much drama but no emotional investment in the characters. All that crap with Gary Oldman towards the end there ("god dammit, stop pointing that gun at my family!"), though amusing in that Mr. Oldman is usually the guy pointing the gun, made me want to barf what with it's overwrought dramatic gooeyness. Fuck. It needed to lighten up (why so serious? I feel like an asshole).

Granted, some of those batman pics (e.g., the one with Arnold Schwarzenegger) are a little too goofy, but the Tim Burton ones seemed to manage to be both fun and spooky at the same time.

Still, I'm curious to see where they're going to go with the next one. Mostly I wonder what they're going to do with the Joker character. Will they quietly kill him off, or cast someone else in the role. Or just ignore him completely? How unscrupulous are these people?

END

Directed by: Christopher Nolan. Written by: Christopher and Jonathan Nolan. Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman.