Saturday, October 18, 2008

Friday the 13th 9

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Rating: Uch
Beyond the Planet of Trash

Ninth film in the Friday the 13th series (I believe it is the second bearing the title of 'Final') and the one I had the most trouble getting my stubby little hands on. Every place I tried to get hold of a copy seemed to have just lost theirs. Strange phenomenon.

Well, whatever. Now I've seen it. A sadder but a wiser man I woke the morrow morn. Or whatever. At the end of part eight, I believe Jason (Kane Hodder) got melted in the sewers of New York. Somehow, he manages to return to New Jersey or wherever the fuck he came from in the first place ("like the salmon!" Mr. Blue suggested), only to be sploded by army guys. Apparently, though melting him didn't work, they thought maybe blowing him up would...

Only then does it turn out that he can in fact occupy the body of whomsoever he wishes. Even you. Interesting concept. What follows is the typical pointless slaughter of immoral youngsters.

After eight other films, the plot is even thinner than when it started and yet the production has not improved at all. Much like a band I know (I'll avoid names to protect the guilty), they keep practicing and practicing but they never get any better. Just louder.

Anyway. This movie sucked major ass (I'm not even going to try to figure out how much ass it sucked compared to the other films in the series. It sucked, we'll leave it there). However, there are lots of little references to other movies to make people like me feel smug, such as buddy finding the book from Evil Dead. Nothing whatsoever to do with the plot. It's just to reward those of us who were paying attention.

I'm pretty sure I saw references to The Thing and Creepshow also, but I'm not sure.

Freddy Kruger makes a brief appearance at the end of the film, which does make one wonder they made Jason X before getting around to the only marginally superior Freddy versus Jason?

Ech, no matter. I can now officially say I have seen the Friday the 13th series. I feel kind of hollow and empty, though...

Body Count: 20, making a grand total of 181 for the entire series.
Request Death: I don't remember. It was all stabbing and slashing and impaling... it kinda ran together.
How the Kill Him: Urm... I think they use the power of God or some shit


Directed by: Adam Marcus. Written by: Dean Lorey and Jay Huguely. Starring: Kane Hodder, John D. LeMay, Kari Keegan, Steven Williams.

Next: Giant ants take over Florida in Empire of the Ants.

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