I will admit I actually really wanted to see this movie despite the fact that it looked really really stupid and I thought (incorrectly as it turns out) that it was based on a video game, only because it was directed by the guy who did Night Watch, which is a fucking awesome movie. The guy who plays Anton (Konstantin Khabensky) has a small role in this movie as a crazy guy who really likes rats.
This is about a weenie loser (James McAvoy) who meets a lovely lady (Angelina Jolie) who drags him into a secret society of assassins with super powers who get their targets from a magic loom. That's right, the mistakes in the fabric actually form a code which gives them the names of people who are supposed to die to maintain the balance of life and death in the world... and I thought I was fuckin nuts. Jesus.
See they manage to pull off that kind of weirdness in the Nightwatch universe. This movie was just stupid. And James McAvoy was really fucking annoying. Throughout the movie I kept hoping that Thomas Kretschmann would leap out from behind the nearest car and shoot him, hopefully fatally. Alas, my prayers went unanswered.
Don't get me wrong, there was some pretty righteous shit in this movie, and I really like Timur Bekmambetov's style, but the movie was just too dumb to overcome that.
And it was a total rip-off of The Matrix. James McAvoy was Neo with a daddy complex; Morgan Freeman was totally Morpheus only without the kung-fu moves and he turned out to be a major fucking asshole; and Thomas Kretschmann (AKA Captain Cool) is Smith only surprise! he turns out to be James McAvoy's real daddy in an astonishing plot twist I saw before James McAvoy's character was even introduced into the fucking movie. This flick is that predictable. The only thing which surprised me was that Angelina Jolie didn't have a change of heart right before she was supposed to kill weiner man and then help him bring down the system or whatever.
The entire movie I was trying to puzzle out why the hell anybody was doing whatever it was they were doing. But then, they did all take orders from a fucking loom so rational behaviour is sort of out of the question...
Fuck. This movie is almost so stupid it's funny, but not quite...
Directed by: Timur Bekmambetov. Written by: Michael Brandt, Derek Haas & Chris Morgan based on the comic book series written by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones. Starring: James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman, Thomas Kretschmann, Terence Stamp, Common, Marc Warren, Konstantin Khabensky, Dato Bakhtadze.