#35 - Horror of Dracula

Dracula (1958)
Moderately Trashy
Directed by: Terence Fisher. Written by: Jimmy Sangster based on the novel by Bram Stoker.

Plot: An ancient vampire (Sir Christopher Lee) travels from his home in the back woods of wherever to London in order to bother a beautiful young woman (Melissa Stribling).

Review: So… what am I up to now? I can’t remember how many versions of Dracula I’ve reviewed already, but whatever. Probably fewer than I think. Anyway, this is the Hammer version.

I swear to God, they don’t make them like they used to, man. This movie had it all. I know I say this every time I review a Hammer movie, but, fuck, they all had it all. Those movies had the perfect balance of good stuff. Cool period sets and costumes, really hot chicks, and that weird kind of colour that makes the movie look like it’s been colourized even though it really hasn’t. The blood is always super red.

Throw on top of that a script which doesn’t suck and British accents. There is no way this movie could possibly go wrong. It’s ingenious.

And I really like Christopher Lee. I mean, he’s gotten a little annoying these days (as has pretty much everyone associated with Star Wars Episodes 1 through 3 - honest to God, I cannot think of a single person involved with that movie who doesn’t bother me on some level now. Even, like, Ian McDiarmid and Frank Oz. Okay, they annoyed me a little bit anyway, but now more so. The only person impervious to the damage is James Earl Jones and his voice was only in Revenge of the Sith for, like, six seconds), but back then… wow. What a guy.

He was one of the best guys to play Dracula too. I really like Bela Lugosi, and Gary Oldman is pretty much Captain Sexy, but Christopher Lee is the fucking man. He pwns the hell out of that role, despite his weird little under bite thing (that thing is really weird). But, like, he barely does anything in the whole movie. He has about ten lines of dialogue and he still kicks ass the whole way through. It’s awesome.

And, you know, Peter Cushing. I love Peter Cushing! He’s the best Van Helsing ever, and this is probably his best turn in that role (I dunno, I haven’t seen all the movies in this series either… there are a lot of them and they’re not that easy to get hold of. It sucks monkey nuts).

Anyway, it’s also appropriately gothic and full of sexy stuff to keep me happy. Really though. They should go back to making movies like this. Only now it would be sort of self conscious and retro and generally shitty. Damnit. Oh well.

Fuck this was a sucky review. I'm sorry. I'm not entirely sure what was going on when I wrote it but nothing good.

Favourite Part: I liked it when Dracua did the Dracula thing with Dracula. Read: fuck I'm tired.

Other versions: Many.

Sequels: Brides of Dracula (which I did see but don‘t remember), Dracula: Prince of Darkness, Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (I think I saw this one too but I’m not entirely sure…), Taste the Blood of Dracula, Scars of Dracula, Dracula A.D. 1972, The Satanic Rites of Dracula and Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires.

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