Cronos (1993)
Moderately Trashy
Written and Directed by: Guillermo del Toro.
Plot: Friendly old antiques dealer (Federico Luppi) accidentally activates a device which causes him to grow steadily younger, but also to lust after human blood. He must then fight it out with another dying old guy (Claudio Brook) who wants the device for himself.
Review: This movie is frigging amazing, from the sort of decaying yet beautiful scenery one expects from a del Toro movie (this was apparently his first flick - good for him), to the weirdly heart-warming relationship between the vampire guy and his granddaughter (Tamara Shanath), which doesn’t really change that much as he turns into a vampire or even after his apparent death. She’s a good kid.
It is also filled with lots of bizarre but inventive imagery (ex: vampire sleeping in toy chest - cute/creepy), as well as smatterings of religious iconography and lots of stuff with bugs. Can’t forget the bugs, although this movie has significantly fewer bugs than, say, Mimic.
It is suitably dark and gothic as well.
And the main character is just so appealing. He’s such a nice guy, and then he’s a vampire, which sucks for him. He doesn’t deserve that. It's a total bummer. Poor guy. Jeez.
Ron Perlman was kind of annoying, though. He was kind of the weak spot in the movie for me which is too bad coz I really like Ron Perlman. Usually he makes every movie better but not in this case. In this case he just bothered me. That sucks. Although I do understand the necessity for his character, it was still an obnoxious character and he played it in an obnoxious way. And he was the only person with an American accent. That’s what really gets me. A movie full of Spanish-speaking people with pleasant Mexican accents (all the people in this had really nice voices), so the one American voice just drills into the brain like a drill.
But really, I love Ron Perlman. He should actually be in every movie. The world would be a much nicer place that way, I think.
Anyway, I liked this movie. I thought it was nice. This review was really weak, sorry. I haven't been able to create anything worth shit for the last little while now. Fuck around.
Favourite Part: The bit where the guy explains his need for blood to his granddaughter, comparing it to a cigarette addiction. I liked that scene, it just had a certain… something… it touched me.
Other versions: None (let’s hope it stays that way…)
Sequels: None.
Click here to read my original review (January 1st, 2009)
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